Hallmark Movie Review: Christmas Incorporated

ChristmasIncorporatedPoster

Aired: 11/15/15 on Hallmark Channel

When I first saw the promos for Christmas Incorporated, I thought the lead actress was Cobie Smulders.  It wasn’t.  While there was nothing wrong with Not-Cobie-Smulders, Robin Sparkles would have made this movie so much better.

Not-Cobie-Smulders was laid off and is now looking for a job.  She is rejected for various (and sometimes stupid) reasons, until she applies for a job as the assistant to the CEO of Young Industries.  The hiring manager, however, has the wrong resume – which shouldn’t really be a problem, because they hired her, not her resume.  It is a problem though.  There are three possible scenarios, all of which are so stupid that I find it hard to believe that the clearly employed writers have ever had a job in their lives.  The first possibility is that Not-Cobie-Smulders falsifies her W-9, which I am fairly certain is illegal, because there is a warning that you are signing it under penalty of perjury.  Second possibility, Young Industries just doesn’t bother with a W-9, also illegal.  Third possibility, the W-9s were filled out beforehand and attached to the resume – which means Not-Cobie-Smulders wouldn’t be getting paid, someone else would.

Anyway, let’s get back to the story.  The CEO is a 25-year-old man taking over from his late father.  His inexperience is obvious.  He doesn’t seem to understand economics, marketing, or public speaking – all of which seem like important attributes for a CEO of a large corporation.  CEO and Not-Cobie-Smulders head off to a toy factory in Dover, New Hampshire to determine whether to keep it open.  CEO has no idea what he is doing so assistant Not-Cobie-Smulders comes up with a good idea to market old toys as nostalgic – a low overhead product, with potentially popular appeal.  Then she comes up with a terrible marketing strategy of having everyone in small-town Dover tell everyone they know (isn’t that just each other?) about the old-new product.

Since this is a Hallmark movie, you know not-Cobie-Smulders is going to hook up with her boss – which is clichéd at best.  Though I suppose since they hired someone else, it technically isn’t her boss.  It also seems apparent that she really isn’t an assistant since she comes up with all the ideas, orders him around, and doesn’t seem to do anything that an assistant might actually do – like his schedule.

Christmas Incorporated suffers from poor writing.  I really think Robin Sparkles should have sang a song to save the factory instead of telling people about an old toy.

Rating: 5.65

Ranking: 51

50. The Wishing Tree

52. Charming Christmas

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