Hallmark Movie Review: All Things Valentine


Aired: 1/31/16 on Hallmark Channel

Hallmark Channel has begun its Countdown to Valentine’s Day, without, you know, actually counting down.  It just means that they are showing Valentine-themed movies until the actual day.  All Things Valentine is one movie starring Sarah Rafferty (from Suits).

Avery Parker (Rafferty) is an advice columnist.  With Valentine’s Day approaching, her hatred of the holiday gets the best of her emotions and she gives overly-harsh advice (or horrible, horrible advice – dump her boyfriend, Brendan, because he doesn’t like Valentine’s Day) to a reader.  Parker, ironically, is assigned to write Valentine’s stories (e.g. top ten most romantic restaurants).  Brendan becomes a troll on her online articles.  What neither of them know is that they are dating each other (though neither one calls it that).  From there, it goes full Hallmark – they fall in love, she finds out he is the troll, they “break up,” then in the final 30 seconds they get back together and live happily ever after.

This was one of the better Hallmark movies – the dialogue wasn’t as eye-rolly, the characters actions were believable, the lead actress didn’t get a job she was completely unqualified for, nor did she give up a 6-figure salary to be with a man, and most importantly her dog was super cute.  There was one major plot hole – how did Brendan never figure out that he was trolling his girlfriend?  Anyone one who has spent more than five minutes with another human being knows what the other does (seriously, the most common first question anyone ever asks when they meet someone new is “What do you do?”)  Yet, after several dates it comes as a complete shock to Brendan that Avery is the columnist he’s been trolling.  Either he has shown a complete lack of interest in her life or it is a serious error in the writing.  If you ignore this major plot point, it isn’t a bad little movie.

Rating: 6.61

Ranking: 13

  1. Puppy Love

14t. June in January

14t. Love, Again


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